My last official post on here was over 12 years ago. I don't know why I'm even on here writing except that I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately. Today's post also happens to be on my 39th Birthday. If I continue this trend, I'll post again on here when I'm 51 (what?!?!?). My last post was before I met my ex Sara. Yeesh. It's been a long, long time. I still have a written journal. I haven't written in that either in over a year. How do I even recap 12 years worth of events? Very rhetorical because there is no possible way. The ex I mentioned, her name is Sara Yahl.We dated for 3 years and she was the woman I was closest to marrying. However, after a year and a half together, she moved back to St. Mary's, Ohio and then Columbus, Ohio. Doing a year and a half long distance pretty much ruined any chance of lasting success. I dated a smattering of women throughout the years after her. In 2016, I met a woman, Alana Geldien. That was when I was going through another tough period in my life and she became a friend and then a girlfriend. However, I never really felt liked I loved her loved her, the way I loved Sara. We dated on and off til fall 2018. However, we continued to 'hang' out for almost 2 years after we broke up. It was ill-advised at the time and still makes me question what I was thinking. During COVID last year, I stopped seeing her completely and then stopped communicating with her. The last communication I had with her was in November 2020. I tried to give her closure, but did so poorly.
I don't really know where I'm going with all this. I'm just using this as a way to get out my pain. I have some HUGE decisions to make quickly. I don't know what's going to happen, but I pray to God, I make the right decisions.
